Don't stop loving me- for your daughter Dr. Swati Piramal is the Chief Scientific Officer of Nicholas-Piramal India Ltd. and Piramal Hospital. She is the co-author of Eat Your Way to Good Health, a complete fitness guide for the family. Her e-mail address is spiramal@vsnl.com

Do you wish that your young baby girl with a frilly dress and baby-powdered smell would come back? If your daughter has now metaphorphosed to a feminine, bright teenager - this article is for you! Dr. Ann Caron has studied thousands of teenage girls and gives good advice in her book "Don't Stop Loving Me." A reassuring guide for parents of teenage daughters. The present day parents of teenage daughters have a new challenge - the benefit from a new environment for women which raises their expectations of what they can accomplish in life. "The parent has to balance the need for independence and the need for safety."

"To prepare a daughter for life in the twenty-first century, we need more than our mothers as guides, we need new ways of parenting our daughters," says Dr. Caron. Each parent and daughter bond is forged throughout life in a unique reflection of their early life together. Adolescence offers an opportunity to shape that bond into a life-long adult friendship!

A two year old crawling into her mother's lap seeks direct reassurance while the teenager looks in her mother's eyes and listens to her tone of voice for signals of acceptance. Here are some of Dr. Caron's tips:

1. Understand your daughter's need to show that she is different from you.

2. When she argues or disagrees, don't argue back. Ask her why or why not.

3. Express your own opinions and emotions calmly.

4. Teach her to disagree effectively. Listen to her uncritically.

5. Emphasize that it's okay to have ideas, feelings or tastes that are not yours.

6. Give her responsibilities. Don't take away opportunities from growth by doing everything for her.

7. Have hope. Someday she will understand you.

8. Keep loving her - and smile and laugh with her!

As for fathers and daughters, girls complain that they talk about school grades or politics but never anything personal (just like a husband!) "He is hearing me but not listening to me!" say the teenagers.

Dads like to solve problems quickly rather than listen to them and that makes it hard for them to communicate with their daughters. The brief moments daughters and fathers do share, can be precious ones for girls. The sharing makes her feel special and gives her some insight into her dad. He is expanding her teenage world and she is taking it all in. Researcher Snarey, of Emory University, examined the effect of a father's active participation of child rearing, on children. Research shows that daughters who receive warmth and attention from their fathers, become mature and independent. When a father involves his daughter in his working life -the girl was left with the impression that the world of work was fulfilling. (an important idea in a 21st century daughter!) Fathers are overprotective but girls pick up the reassuring meaning of underlying love. Here are some tips for dads.

1. Spend a "special" time with your daughter. Make a special "date" just for her.

2. Share your interests with her by talking about them.

3. Ask her what activities she would enjoy by talking about them.

4.. Include her friends in some of your outings.

5. Include her in your adult conversations by looking at her when you talk. Ask her opinions about events in the news.

6. Teach her special skills-like a sport like cricket - it will be healthy for later!

7. Notice her special abilities and encourage them.

8. Listen carefully to her conversations about school, work and friends. They are not trivial.

9. If she does talk about her problems don't offer immediate solutions. Help her find the answer herself.

10. Ask your wife how you could be of help to your daughter.

11. Love them both!

Nutrition of your teenage daughter is important. They are acutely aware of their figures and their complexions! Anorexia affects this age group badly. This is an eating disorder (made famous by Lady Diana who had it as a young lady), which deprives the young girl of good nutrition. Leave a lot of healthy food in the house and encourage the family to try them out. Feeling fit is a great feeling. The healthy external appearance brimming with joie de vivre and vitality is a sign of good internal health. Beautiful skin is the best make up and here a few recipes for a beautiful skin and healthy hair!